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But for Mr. Towers, having biological children was a long-held dream that he was willing to work toward. He grew up in what he called a humble home in Palm Bay, Fla. He put himself through law school at University of Pennsylvania. Gradually, after the death of his mother, a failed relationship and two dog adoptions, he realized that he was ready to take on fatherhood, even by himself.

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Towers said. He viewed being single as a positive because he alone would control the decisions about surrogacy and parenting. Yet control was still an illusion. Because it is illegal to pay a surrogate in New York, Mr. Through an agency in Portland, Ore. The embryo itself was made with the eggs of an anonymous donor from an agency based in California.

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These eggs which, according to the agency, came from an astrophysicist were fertilized at Oregon Reproductive Medicine, a clinic in Portland. After a failed transfer of a single embryo, Mr.

Towers and his surrogate decided to transfer two embryos in hopes that at least one would take. They knew it could mean twins.

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Asher had a short stay in the intensive care unit, so Mr. Towers stayed in Oregon for three more weeks, until the twins were ready for the long flight home to New York. As unpredictable as the medical prospect of surrogacy may be, some gay men prefer that to the possibility of facing discrimination in adoption. Dennis Williams had his son, Elan, via surrogacy four years ago.

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Williams, who is 46 and black, said he chose surrogacy because the prospect of persuading a woman to allow him to adopt was daunting. Williams and his former partner had a failed egg donation from a woman they met through a friend. After he and his partner broke up, Mr. Williams still wanted to be a father. Once he became a father, Mr. Williams said, he felt as if he finally fit in with his big family in Kansas, where he grew up.

For Mr.

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Towers, the race of his twin sons was more difficult to control. Both his parents are mixed race: He hoped to find a multiracial egg donor, but most of the donors, he found, were white. A lot of that anxiety also comes from how my performance sexually is portrayed and my relative inexperience drives that uncertainty. When Craig became single nine months ago, he expected the sex to come rolling in.

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Liam agrees that the perceived stereotypes of the gay community have impacted his confidence when it comes to sex. There can be medical reasons for a lack of personal libido. Age, physical health, mental health, and medications can all play a part. This comes after a survey by The Observer in found that libido in Britain at least had decreased overall among men and women, and another study that suggested that low desire in men under 40 has seen a sharp increase in recent years.

Sex is a relational experience. Humans need to feel safe, respected, connected and valued in order for their bodies and minds to work appropriately. Duwe argues that this can manifest in two forms. First, there is a shame among those people not engaging in regular sexual activities. Second, there are hypersexualized behaviors that are, I would argue, elevated and encouraged by the gay community. It all comes, he says, from an inferiority complex brought about due to toxic masculinity and many gay men's early feelings surrounding their own lack of masculinity.