Gay escort experience
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This connection story is a common bullshit excuse to not pay someone — to cheat hard workers out of money. I always get uncomfortable when the word gets brought up. More on that later. I have worked without an account on any site or app for some time — until just last year. You can do good work this way, but sites help. They make it easier and safer for us and our clients. One benefit of having an account or profile somewhere: You can often display your rate. If you find a companion or escort online, read their profile in full before messaging.
Aggressive, rude, crass, insulting messages will likely be ignored, regardless of how much cash you have to drop. Overly forward or assuming messages are simply rude. Similarly, I and most escorts would rather you message us through our primary mode of contact, which in is likely through our preferred digital platform. But after small talk, I always ask them to please message me through my online profile, and I provide them with the URL.
Or I give them my email and suggest we message later. Respect our discretion. Many of us have families, partners, relatives, kids, and jobs outside escorting. I talk about it, enjoy it, advocate for it, defend it, study it, and value it in my personal life. I appreciate sex as academic study, sex as protest, sex as art. By all accounts, I am very promiscuous. Good reviews help. People read them.
I must remind you here that escorts and companions are only paid for time, nothing more. What you choose to do in that time is a consensual agreement between two adults. Can I give him your number? Escorts tend to know other escorts.
The same common courtesy you practice with any kind of work meeting or appointment when in doubt, think of how you reserve time with your favorite, high-demand barber. Not every escort requires this, but they should. The fact is, people flake out. If you flake out or cancel at the last minute, he might not be able to fill that time with work. For this reason, many guys ask for a nonrefundable up-front deposit that will be added to the full amount once you meet.
Many escorts are sober.
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Others prefer not to meet high or drunk clients, for various reasons. We may have an authentic connection — we may truly enjoy spending time with each other, and I hope we do — but this is work. I want to believe that I foster good connections with my clients — along with, well, everyone in my life. If anything, we tip them extra. The worst conversation you can start with a sex worker goes something like this: In various capacities I teach, coach, comfort, console, and mend.
First time with an escort: A male-to-male perspective
A disheartening experience: Not every conversation is an audition for work — not every chat a physical therapist has is a sly search for a client. I prefer going to the same barber, the same dentist, the same doctor. I like what they do, their quality of service, and so on. Same applies with escorts.
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Many of us do other things for work. Many of us have relationships that are important. What that means for you: While that is certainly true for countless queer people, including trans and queer people of color, and trans and queer youth, not everyone turns to escorting as a last resort. Life is expensive.