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They are both good friends whom I have known for many years. These two were romantically involved for a while after I left the city where we all lived. I had always planned to invite the woman to my wedding, as she is the closer friend. Recently, I have been seeing more of my male friend, and without thinking of my female friend, I verbally invited him to the wedding, and then followed up with a save-the-date e-mail.

Should I uninvite him? I would feel awful doing this. She and I live in the same city where the wedding will happen, and she has been helping me plan; he would be traveling from a city several hours away. Please help! Anonymous, Pennsylvania. Sounds like you need a GPS to navigate this tricky triangle. The short answer: Do not uninvite your male friend.

It would be hurtful to retract the invitation, and there is no possible way to give him an explanation without revealing what was told to you in confidence by your female friend. But perhaps you are anticipating trouble where there might not be any. Plenty of weddings have occurred against the backdrop of dicey undercurrents of exes. Potential minefields often lurk right below the surface, but somehow — actually on account of foresight — they get through the big day.

Since you are such good friends with both, it would be natural for you to invite both of them.

So go ahead and do just that. Give them each a heads up: For example, if you have assigned seating at the reception, seat them far from each other at separate tables, just as you would a divorced couple. View all New York Times newsletters. Surely, they will be able to share your joy while putting their secret past behind them.

What Do You Say to Your Guests When They Ask about Gay Wedding Gifts?

Learning to Love a Heartfelt Gift. My son and his wife recently married. My sister and her family sent them a wedding gift of a clock that plays music. My sister indicated that it was a costly gift one I know they could ill afford.

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When my son received it, he called me to say that he and his wife did not care for it at all. They cannot return it as it was purchased at a store out of town. I know they will write a gracious thank-you note. Being from the Bible Belt as a gay minority spoiler: The best thing about being LGBTQ is that my experience has helped shape me to be proud of my individuality. I let my personality shine throughout all my creative endeavors, including Digital Keke. I want to see representation. What your selling: You gotta put your money where your mouth is. A great dane named Knuckles.

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