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The volume and venom of these messages has real-world consequences for these women. They told me they reduced their internet presence afterward — making it harder to share their work and get new work. Some writers told me they shied away from writing about race, relationships, or identity. Some quit altogether. Although the messages come from many users, one particular subgroup on Reddit seems to be the root for most of this harassment.

Derogatory and misogynistic language is common: The men harassing Asian women about their interracial relationships may not all know each other, but they are linked by a common ideology: The worst scarcity, they believe, is in the dating pool: The problem is that even legitimate concerns end up entwined with these more extreme views.

However, most speak not about cultural representation and activism, but about what they perceive as a dearth of dating opportunities for Asian men. The most toxic posts come from men who argue for racial purity and refer to Asian women as if they are commodities rather than people. I know this all too well myself. They have a valid complaint here: My tweet fed into those stereotypes that Asian men are unsexy, and when people pointed this out, I rethought my own biases. Growing up, the only Asians I knew were my cousins — so, as I admitted, when I see Asian men, my first instinctive feeling is often kinship rather than sexual attraction.

They send a screenshot of that tweet repeatedly at me and anyone who tries to support me, passing the. But for the women I interviewed, the opposite was true. Nearly every woman acknowledged how hard it was to be an Asian man. It was the first time someone had given voice to an insecurity I held but had never felt comfortable communicating. My first relationship was with a Western girl when I was growing up in Perth, and I never felt like my race was a factor in how it started or ended.

I was generally drawn to Western girls because I felt we shared the same values. At the time, I rarely felt that assumptions were made about me based on my ethnicity, but things changed when I moved to Melbourne for university. In a new city, stripped of the context of my hometown, I felt judged for the first time, like I was subtly but surely boxed into an "Asian" category.

So, I consciously tried to be a boy from WA, to avoid being mistaken for an international student. Since then, my experience as a person of colour in Australia has been defined the question: It's a never-ending internal dialogue that adds complexity and confusion to aspects of life that are already turbulent — and dating is where it hit me the hardest. I'm in a relationship now, and my partner is white. Talking to her about the anxieties I experienced around dating, it's easy to feel like my concerns were caused by internalised racism and problematic stereotypes that I projected onto the world around me.

So, I decided to start a long overdue conversation with other Asian men, to find out if I was alone in my anxieties. Chris Quyen, a university student, photographer and creative director from Sydney, says his early interest in dating was influenced by a desire to fit in.

For Melbourne-based hip-hop artist Jay Kim, this approach to dating is understandable, but not without its problems.

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I tapped on handsome faces and sent flirtatious messages and, for a few minutes, felt as though she and I could have been any other girlfriends taking a coffee break on a Monday afternoon, analyzing the faces and biographies of men, who just happened to appear Asian. I had been interested in dating more Asian-American men, in fact— wouldn't it be easier , I thought, to partner with someone who is also familiar with growing up between cultures? But while I set up my own profile, my skepticism returned, as soon as I marked my ethnicity as "Chinese. Wasn't that exactly the kind of racial reduction that I'd spent my entire life working to avoid?

EastMeetEast's headquarters is located near Bryant Park, in a sleek coworking office with white walls, lots of glass, and little clutter. You can practically shoot a West Elm catalog here.

A range of startups, from design agencies to burgeoning social media platforms share the space, and the relationships between members of the small staff are collegial and warm. I'd originally asked for a visit, because I wanted to know who was behind the "That's not Racist" billboard and why, but I quickly learned that the billboard was just one corner of a peculiar and inscrutable at least to me branding universe. From their tidy desks, the team, almost all of whom identify as Asian-American, had long been deploying social media memes that riff off of a range of Asian-American stereotypes.

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An attractive East Asian woman in a bikini poses in front of a palm tree: Yes prease! When I showed that last image to an informal range of non-Asian-American friends, many of them mirrored my shock and bemusement. When I showed my Asian-American pals, a brief pause of incredulousness was sometimes followed by a kind of ebullient recognition of the absurdity. In other words: I asked EastMeetEast's CEO Mariko Tokioka about the "That's not Racist" billboard and she and Kenji Yamazaki, her cofounder, explained that it was meant to be a response to their online critics, whom they described as non-Asians who call the app racist, for catering exclusively to Asians.

Yamazaki added that the feedback was especially aggressive when Asian women were featured in their advertisements. How the hell are your critics supposed to find your rebuttal when it exists solely offline, in a single location, amid the gridlock of L. My bafflement only increased: I asked if the boundary-pushing memes were also part of this vision for reaching a greater community, and Yamazaki, who handles marketing, explained that their strategy was just to make a splash in order to reach Asian-Americans, even if they risked appearing offensive.

But maybe there's something to it—the app is the highest trafficked dating resource for Asian-Americans in North America, and, since it launched in December , they've matched more than seventy-thousand singles.

In April, they closed four million dollars in Series A funding. Tokioka, a serial entrepreneur in her late thirties, started the company after she found that major dating sites like E-Harmony and Match were limited when it came to Asian candidates.

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She said it was difficult to find anyone at all who had the qualities she was looking for: