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His ubiquitous presence in his faith community attests to his devotion, and nobody questions his heart. His wife and children were the disguise he wore to hide the longing he loathed but could not resist, which ultimately killed him. The beard I wore was an outworn religious identity, one which fit me for a time but no longer looked or felt authentic.

The purpose of a beard is disinformation: Authenticity is expensive.

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It can cost a person their comfort zone. Answer these three simple questions to find out. Wearing a beard will make you itch if you possess a sensitive conscience. Being a beard will make you accustomed to being stroked, pulled, and yanked.

When the Beard Is Too Painful to Remove

Neither option is pleasant; both impede the development of realness. Realness is what fuels emotional and spiritual health. Lorelai Kude is a multi-disciplinary spiritual creative and communications professional, facilitating community, connectivity, and consciousness across a myriad of platforms and modalities via her lifelong simultaneous passions for both media and mysticism. You must be logged in to post a comment. Are You A Beard?

December 27, No Comments. Share this: In retrospect, I found out that he was taking pictures of his beard and sending them to other men.

Do gay men find guys with beards more attractive?

It was our sex life that was the main red flag. We would have sex only once every couple of months. One time we went eight months without it. But we had been together 10 years. I know a couple right now who just had a baby and have not had sex in over a year. We even went to therapy about it. At the time, you were working as a staff magazine writer here at Forbes. How did you deal with this huge personal devastation and maintain professionalism? I had a great supervisor. I did call in sick and take a couple days off.

The first day back, I went directly to this female supervisor, who was a friend, and told her what happened. She was very understanding. Everybody should have somebody like that at work. We are all just human, and we do have bad days and weeks. I told colleagues flat out what had happened. If you deflate the situation, I think it causes less chatter.

Gay men's preferences for "top" vs. "bottom" can be judged by their face. - Seriously, Science?

They were as supportive as they could be. After a month, I wanted to throw myself into work. The only thing that got me back to equilibrium and feeling like myself again was time. Two years. Three years. I had to get out my feelings. It was what got me up in the morning. It was what gave me a reason to live—to not harm myself.

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When you eventually decided to publish it, were you worried about putting your life out there for people to gawk at? Were you concerned about potential ramifications in your career? I was very worried. A lot of the book has to do with my dating life after becoming single.

It gets pretty raw. It was during the editing process that I started looking at the material and going: Everyone is going to read this--my friends, my family, my coworkers.

I was imagining that I would get fired. Then providence came in the form of a layoff. Is anyone ever going to hire me again after reading this book? If they see it and have questions, I will answer whatever questions they have.