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Growing Up Gay In A Straight World: Olly Alexander

Then Steps — I got all their autographs. At home he obsessed over Christina Aguilera videos. He was pop through and through, and wanted to be a star in the mould of all these heroes. Half by accident, he embarked on a different artistic career first.


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At 16, Alexander auditioned for the Channel 4 drama Skins, and was in talks about a role. After that — whoosh. What has he learned? He says he finds it harder to pull in clubs without the freedom of anonymity he used to enjoy. And would I be OK with that?

Olly Alexander

Thinking of how ill-informed he felt as a kid, and of the anxiety he might have been spared had he only known more and known better, Alexander has resolved to be a public figure who is as vocal and open about his sexuality as he can be. As soon as he was asked, in an early-career interview for a blog, he said he was gay. This was actually how his beloved grandmother found out: He entered therapy, specifically in anticipation of what a frontline music career might do to his fragile emotional state.

Polydor were still six months from formally signing them. No, he says. To have an idea of what success is, your entire life, and then it happens to you. And people start talking to you differently. Alexander laughs, frowns — speaks at the napkins again.

By then, father and son had no relationship to speak of, Alexander says. A pause.

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I want to be respectful. He was talking back to them. It was a real head-fuck. However clumsy the timing and the method, was a part of Alexander gratified that he got in touch?

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Not any more. But a dad figure stalks the new work. On one song, Alexander sings about breaking with his DNA. Yeah, he says, his father was foremost in his thoughts when he wrote that one. Alexander sees a clear thread running through it all, from parental to romantic difficulties. I tell him that, yeah, I can see why he might choose to wear clothes that feel like they hug. He smiles. That he experienced a lot of love and support, growing up, from his mother and grandmother. My mother loved me!

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She tried her best! And most of the time it can only come out in these tiny little cracks. Commenting on this piece? Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Topics Music. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular. You start looking at yourself in a different way and navigate all of that.

I guess a lot of that went into the themes of songs. How was it having a famous boyfriend? We were happy to be seen in public together. But when the relationship ended it was awful.


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  • Years & Years singer Olly Alexander talks ‘difficult second album’, break-ups and LGBTQ rights.
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I wanted to write about that feeling of being intoxicated in the romance of it. The thought of letting someone into my life seems too much for me right now. And he made a powerful documentary shown on BBC3 called Growing Up Gay in which he discussed his own experiences with his sexuality and linked problems including bullying and mental health. He says: If it helps others then it can only be good. People used to make fun of me for looking like a girl and I found that really tough. All you want to do is fit in. I had issues with food and not eating and self-harming. He was drinking a lot and it was very turbulent at home.

It was tough on me, my brother and my mum.

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Alexander — who was born in Yorkshire but grew up in Blackpool and Coleford before moving to London — is frank about the troubled relationship with his dad. It made me annoyed because why am I still trying to protect someone who has hurt me and my family so much? The singer says therapy has helped with his anger as well as songwriting. Therapy is amazing but you have to be ready for it.


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  • Years & Years singer Olly Alexander talks 'difficult second album', break-ups and LGBTQ rights.