Gay dating in tauranga

I was just me. At the end of the day, I would have called myself pansexual. That's when you're attracted to the person, not the sex. The pair laugh at the fact they met at Video Ezy in Greerton. Renee was admittingly taking a risk when she approached Monique and flirtingly suggested a MacGyver box-set over the thriller Monique was holding.

While "butch lesbians stick out like a sore thumb", others, like Monique, aren't so obvious. But she says "there's that intangible thing we call our 'gaydar' and we can just kinda tell sometimes. You can tell if someone is receptive to certain [flirting] signals, it's no different to the straight world. Equality or near-equality in the eyes of the law doesn't change social prejudice. Monique and Renee have had to battle to gain acceptance from even their own families.

Renee, 28, "came out" at 18, and her mother chose not to attend their civil union in It was August when solo-parent Monique, then 27, decided to "come out". And she did so at Pak'n Save, as she and her mother pulled into a carpark. Monique, who'd previously been in heterosexual relationships, had been hanging out with Renee for some time and her parents had worked out Renee was from what they referred to as "the rainbow nation".

That day, outside the supermarket, she told her mother: She always wears a skirt. She's never worn trousers in her life. Being gay puts Monique and Renee in a minority group. As a person, I haven't changed," Renee says. And lesbian man-hater is another label, which is not correct. We have dads, brothers I was going to flibbertigibbet around town and frequent public toilets. The truth they say, is far from that. Renee says heterosexuals in Tauranga are respectful of gay men and women, and they in turn, are respectful of heterosexuals. We just want to be normal, so we act normal," Renee says.

Monique agrees: In the episode of the TV2 soap, bisexual character Nicole, played by Sally Martin, complained it was difficult to "come out" in the city. This is Tauranga," she said.

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The night before, Nicole's mother had told character Gerald he should change his shirt before he went out, implying it was "too gay" for Tauranga. But Monique says she couldn't understand the fuss. It is a misconception. Renee is "stepmum" to Monique's year-old daughter, who they say is a "well-balanced little girl" and has only been teased once about her mother being in a gay relationship. Monique says another myth about lesbians is their children are at risk of turning gay.

But equally, I'm not hiding it," Monique says. It's not until I'm at a school event or got a kid over, I think 'oops, I better tell the parents'. Most of the time it's me with the hang-ups, not them. He was seeing a part-African man at the time and his flabbergasted mother deplored "It's that bloody Oprah! Oh, it's all fashionable to be gay". When really, Bret said, he knew he was gay at the age of The owner of The Salon on The Strand is immaculately dressed in tailored black - except for a brown belt - with two silver rings and one gold with tiny diamonds, on his right pinkie finger.

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Bret, 38, has a fashionable, yet boyish haircut. His hands fly when he talks. He says after living in liberal London for a number of years, it was a sharp jolt down to earth when he moved to Whakatane - population 18, - and then Tauranga, six years ago. We have quietly filtered ourselves around heterosexual groups," he says.

Earlier this year, More FM's breakfast show came under fire after a host was accused of "acting like a poofter" and a complaint was made to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. The complaint was not upheld. Bret says he is careful and aware of the attitudes of others. He believes overt public displays of affection aren't acceptable to those who are straight or gay. Walking up the street holding hands is beautiful but when you start seeing more , that's not appropriate. He said Tauranga had a "big Bible Belt" with more than Christian churches and a lot of retirees.

But it is a deeply set part of their identity," Laven says. Scientists have not been able to conclude that there is any gene or combination of genes that will make someone gay. Laven says while it is possible to change most sexual interests, research suggests it's not realistic to change gender orientation.

It is now nearly 25 years since homosexuality was decriminalised in New Zealand and, prior to that, it was illegal and was once deemed a "mental illness". Laven said gay men were seen as avoiding their responsibility to society by not reproducing or going to the defence for their country.

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That they'll guide young boys into it," he says. He knows of a teenage boy who is "as camp as a row of tents" and doesn't seek to hide himself in Tauranga. The culture is gradually changing. The year-old Tauranga woman has been in a lesbian relationship for 27 years and says people are always going to talk and make inappropriate comments but the way she sees it is "well, everybody to their own".

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