Gay men why dating types are counterproductive

We can be a very picky bunch. Having fixed ideas of what you want — which usually boil down to looks and little else — could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys. Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.

Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you.

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This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world. All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. What does that even mean? If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities. On several occasions from — multiple top leaders taught that attractions to those of the same sex won't exist after death, stating "it must be true" [] that "gay or lesbian inclinations" will "not exist post-mortality", [] but only occur "right now in mortality.

In the apostle Packer addressed gay and lesbian youth stating that church leaders don't reject, but rather them, and that they sometimes must extend tough love through teaching and discipline. It criticized those who did not show love and challenged gay members to show love and kindness to help other members change their attitudes. There are many current and former members of the LDS church who are attracted to people of the same sex, and they have had a variety of positive and negative experiences with leaders and other members.

For example, one gay Mormon man who dates men reported never having problems with his local leaders, while another who was a Church employee described how his stake president denied his temple recommend resulting in him getting fired simply because of his friendship with other gay men and his involvement in a charity bingo for Utah Pride in a article.

Feliz said that his Peruvian mission was directed in the early s [] by South American area authorities to not teach known homosexuals. Expressions and identities for sexuality and gender are "separate, but related" aspects of a person [] and stem from similar biological origins. He also reaffirmed the church's views that "gender is part of our eternal God-given identity and purpose" and stated that the Church does not baptize "those who are planning trans-sexual operations" and that undergoing a "trans-sexual operation" may imperil the membership of a church member.

Additionally, a trangender individual who has undergone gender-confirming surgery may be baptized only with First Presidency approval, and those considering it are barred from baptism. From a psychological and ministerial perspective, the two are different. The church's policies and treatment of LGBT people has long been a source of controversy both inside and outside the church [21] [] and a significant cause of disagreement and disaffection by members.

A online survey of over 3, individuals who no longer believe church truth claims found that around ten percent would consider returning if among several changes LGBT persons were accepted and treated equally. The controversial policies for LGBT persons has made an impression on the general public.

Past leaders' teachings on reparative therapy and the origins of homosexuality have been criticized. In the late 90s psychiatrist Jeffery R. Jensen, a University of Utah almnus, [] criticized church reparative therapy modalities and etiological theories around homosexuality in multiple presentations as lacking scientific integrity as he believed they were dictated from top church leaders rather than drawn from actual empirical observation by trained professionals.

He also stated that current church publications on the subject were condescending, dehumanizing pontifications using caricatures and stereotypes of gay men and lesbians to distort knowledge and facts in order to justify oppressive standards and norms. He continued asserting that "far too many of our lesbian and gay youths kill themselves because of what you say about them" since gay men and lesbians cannot be made heterosexual, and "those who believe your false promises and remain celibate in the hopes of eventual 'cure' are consigned to a misery.

One general conference address later distributed as a pamphlet that generated controversy was Packer's " To Young Men Only " which condones an example of a male missionary who punched his missionary companion for making romantic advances with Packer stating, "Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it The policies and treatment of LGBTQ individuals have prompted several protests and mass resignations including the following:. Many gay and lesbian members of the LDS Church have felt that they should marry someone of the opposite sex because of the church's emphasis on marriage. The church teaches that heterosexual marriage is one of several requirements for afterlife entry into the " highest degree of glory " in the celestial kingdom.

Church leaders previously encouraged this with one former church employee stating in that he had experienced pressure to marry at the age of 24 in the belief that it would change his homosexual feelings later resulting in a divorce. The most recent statement by a general church leader as of was when the apostle Oaks stated that leaders "definitely do not recommend marriage as a solution for same-gender feelings. In times past, decades ago, there were some practices to that effect.

We have eradicated them in the Church now. Other teachings include when in Hinckley then in the First Presidency had stated that "marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices In February , the LDS Church said it did not oppose a hate-crimes bill, which included sexual orientation, then under consideration in the Utah state legislature.

Russell Ballard has said the church is "locked in" if anything interferes with the principle of marriage being between a man and a woman, and stated that a very careful evaluation is made to determine what action is appropriate. In response, the church's First Presidency issued a statement on February 13, declaring their opposition to same-sex marriage, and urging members to support efforts to outlaw it.

With the lobbying of the LDS Church and several other religious organizations, the Hawaii legislature enacted a bill in outlawing same-sex marriages. A Proclamation to the World " reaffirming its stance that marriage is between one man and one woman. In , the Church officially endorsed a federal amendment to the United States Constitution as well as Utah Constitutional Amendment 3 banning any marriages not between one man and one woman and announced its opposition to political measures that "confer legal status on any other sexual relationship" than "a man and a woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

This political involvement elicited the criticism of California Senator Mark Leno who questioned whether the Church's tax-exempt status should be revoked. On August 13, , the Church released a letter explaining why it believed that same-sex marriage would be detrimental to society and encouraging California members to support Prop 8 [] which would bar anything but opposite-sex marriages.

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The letter asked members to donate time and money towards the initiative. The Mormon Proposition. In a special meeting for some Oakland, California members it was reported that church historian and Seventy Marlin Jensen apologized to straight and gay members for their pain from the Proposition 8 campaign and some other church actions around homosexuality. District Judge Robert J. Shelby struck down the Utah ban on same-sex marriage, saying it violated the U. Constitution's Equal Protection Clause.

In November , a new policy was released stating that members who are in a same-sex marriage are considered apostates and may be subject to church discipline. In a ban on students known to have a homosexual orientation was enacted by Ernest Wilkinson , but softened a decade later by his successor Dallin H.

Homosexuality and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Oaks in to only ban "overt and active homosexuals. In the past the LDS church like Orthodox Judaism, evangelical Christianity, and Catholicism encouraged its LGBTQ members to attempt to change their sexual orientation, and continued to communicate into that changing one's sexual orientation was possible through personal righteousness, prayer, faith in Christ, psychotherapy, and group therapy and retreats.

It was often recommended by Evergreen in an attempt to help homosexual members unchoose and unlearn their attractions. In BYU began administering " aversion therapy " to "cure," "repair," or "reorient" homosexual feelings or behavior among Mormon males. Dye, who was over the University Standards Office from to [] renamed the Honor Code Office in , stated that part of the "set process" for homosexual BYU students referred to his office for "less serious" offenses was to require that they undergo therapy to remain at BYU and that in special cases this included "electroshock and vomiting aversion therapies.

LDS church leaders explicitly promoted non-aversive therapy attempts to change sexual orientation in the past, but have recently shifted away from those previous views. In society at large LGBT individuals especially youth are at a higher risk of depression and suicide [] [] due to minority stress stemming from societal anti-LGBT biases and stigma , rejection, and internalized homophobia. Though there are no official numbers for how many members of the LDS Church identify their romantic orientation as gay, bisexual, or lesbian, BYU's newspaper cited two LDS therapists who stated in that the supermajority-Mormon BYU student body is "somewhere around 4 to 5 percent" homosexual.

The study did not tabulate the number of homosexuals who had never had a homosexual experience. LGBT Mormon characters and themes have been featured in many films, plays, and pieces of literature. Examples include the audiovisual works Latter Days , Believer , 8: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

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Media depictions. Latter Days Believer 8: Current organizations. Previous organizations. Notable people. Overview articles. Christianity and sexual orientation Christianity and homosexuality Christianity and transgender people History of Christianity and homosexuality The Bible and homosexuality Queer theology LGBT-affirming churches Blessing of same-sex unions. Denominational positions on homosexuality. LGBT Christian clergy.

See also: Main article: Gender minorities and the LDS church. Symbols for female and male homosexuality. Further information: Mixed-orientation marriage. Church Educational System Honor Code. LGBT Mormon suicides and homelessness. LGBT Mormon people and organizations. Some principle homosexual Mormon groups.

Latter Day Saints in popular culture. September Newsroom Interview: Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church. See also the Salt Lake Tribune archived transcript here. What to Expect" , mormon.

Temples" , lds. Church Disciplinary Councils" , lds. Certainly it can be overcome It can be done. The Case of Gay Mormons. A Counselling Problem in the Church. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University. We know such a disease [homosexuality] is curable. A Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction".

Mormons and Gays. Retrieved June 16, October Frankfurt, Germany: Peter Lang Publishing. Archived from the original on April 18, Retrieved May 31, CS1 maint: A Journal of Mormon Thought. October 20, Retrieved January 23, Deseret News. New York Times. November 6, The Salt Lake Tribune.