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How to be successful in gay dating

Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends. We can be a very picky bunch.

Having fixed ideas of what you want — which usually boil down to looks and little else — could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys. Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative. Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you.

This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world. All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. What does that even mean?

If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities. Not everyone on a hookup app is looking for sex and even if they are, who gives a toss? Spare us your sanctimony, your grace. This is fine — nothing wrong with a one-night-stand — as long as he realises that too. Even for the most active, hook-up driven, "Nah-I-just-want-to-have-sex-and-fun" gay guy, at some point along the way, hitting the honest-to-goodness gay dating circuit becomes part of your lifelong coming out journey. It's bound to happen for most of us.

If you're not one of us gay dating types, this is all totally still applicable. Just change the name of this article to 'I'm gay, 50, and never dated The real game changer for most gay men comes when Right out the closet door, they're headed for "happily ever after" only to fall flat on their face, curled up in the fetal position, wailing more tears than the losing contestants from all five seasons of RuPaul's Drag race.

Gay First Date Tips - Dos & Don'ts!

Because instead of "Can we be boyfriends? Nailing guys on the first date and breaking hearts invokes the wrath of Karma Queen who casts a "forever limp" curse — if you know what I mean.

How to Succeed in the Gay Dating Scene

Dating has become a drudgery that leads nowhere, and early arthritis is setting in from an over abundance of gay App chatting without even so much as a "Waz Up? Whatever scenario you find yourself in, one thing's for sure: It's time to become a gay dating superstar.


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There isn't a perfect way to become a gay dating dynamo; sorry to disappoint you. I find candid honesty makes for the best things in life. But speaking of being candid and honest, here're some tips I've used to help gay guys get off their butts and start gay dating with dignity — instead of gay dating out of sad desperation. Go on a gay date with yourself. Literally take yourself on a date. Put it on the calendar, plan it out down to the tiniest detail, and be your own Prince Charming.

Treat yourself the way you'd treat your date.

Successful Single Gay Men Dating Tips

Have the brilliant, witty, conversations you'd love to have when you're on the perfect date The point of this exercise is to get to know yourself at a deeper level, so that you can improve your gay dating ability. Gay dating detox. If you've been dating, dating, dating, and still coming up short, it's time for a dating detox. I know, I know: No one. But wait — how much fun are you having striking out? Put yourself out of your misery and spend your time away from possible temptations to hit the gay dating scene.


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No apps, no online profiles, no flirting anywhere, and of course, no terrible blind dates just because some friend tells you, "I've got the perfect guy for you. The Gay Dating Detox requires that you take one month off from all possibilities of dating and see what you discover about yourself. How do you feel? What's the world like when dating isn't at the top of your list?

Who do you see dating, and doing it well? There are so many possibilities for cleansing yourself during this gay dating detox and being in a healthy space to date again. Burn the checklist.

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Admit it. You've got the Mr. Right checklist, and with each "foul ball" gay dating experience, more requirements go on the list. By now you've made it all but impossible for Mr. Right to step into your life. Let's make it easier. Take your checklist and burn it Trust me, you won't forget what's on the list.

Gay Dating Tips: 5 Ways To Become A Superstar | HuffPost

After all you've been carrying it with you right in your wallet, next to your gay card so you'd have it at the ready when needed. Take a sheet of paper, make four columns This needs to be hand written for maximum benefit. In the first column write, What, in the second column write, Why, in the third column write How, and in the fourth column write Who. Using as few words as possible, write "What" you want in your Mr. One item at a time. Then move to the "How" column and write how it will make you feel to have a Mr. Right with those qualities. Finally, in the "Who" column, write who you will be as a gay man in your relationship, when your what, why, and how have been achieved.