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Women they are dating gay men other men women who are strangers

In the first study, heterosexual female college students completed an online survey in which they were asked to imagine sitting alone in a waiting room with either a straight or gay male stranger.


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On average, women reported feeling slightly more at ease after learning the man was straight, but significantly more comfortable when the man turned out to be gay. The student dyads, who were told they were participating in a study on how strangers convey information about different topics, were covertly filmed throughout three distinct interaction periods.

In the second period, the research assistant had one of the participants draw a slip of paper from the box, all of which asked them to describe his or her ideal romantic partner.

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Post-interaction, both members of straight woman-gay man SW-GM dyads reported higher levels of interpersonal rapport with their partner than those in straight woman-straight man SW-SM dyads. These findings, he adds, raise many new and exciting questions about whether the higher levels of intimacy, trust, and mutual respect exhibited by SW-GM dyads in the lab really translate into closer friendships, or may even serve as a prejudice-reduction mechanism for women with less positive attitudes about LGBT individuals. Russell, E. In an initial experiment, researchers Nicholas Rule and Nalini Ambady from Tufts University perused online dating sites and carefully selected 45 straight male faces and 45 gay male faces.

All of these photos were matched for orientation only faces shown looking forward were used and facial alterations none of the images contained jewelry, glasses or facial hair. To control for context, the faces were also cut and pasted onto a white background for the study. These 90 faces were then shown to 90 participants in random order, who were asked simply to judge the target's "probable sexual orientation" gay or straight by pressing a button. Surprisingly, all participants both men and women scored above chance on this gaydar task, correctly identifying the gay faces.

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Even more surprisingly, accuracy rate was just as good when the images were exposed at a rapid rate of only 50 milliseconds, which offered participants no opportunity to consciously process the photo. A parsimonious explanation for these findings would be that the countenance of these photos—an online dating site—means that they're likely stereotypical in some way.

In other words, perhaps it's not the target's face per se that signals his sexual orientation, but the way he expresses himself facially when trying to attract a member of the same or the opposite gender. Or maybe hairstyles are suggestive of sexual orientation. Wary of these possible criticisms, Rule and Ambady conducted a second experiment that controlled for such extraneous variables as self-presentation and hairstyle.

In this second study, the authors used images from the social networking site Facebook rather than online dating Web sites. This way, the targets hadn't so obviously selected photos of themselves meant to attract prospective sexual partners. In fact, the authors had a rather elaborate selection procedure for choosing the target photos in this follow-up study. They first searched for men who'd indicated in their Facebook profile an interest in other men. Then, they did a second search to find other Facebook users who had posted photos of these gay men in their own profile.

They followed the identical criteria for straight targets. They then photoshopped off the participants' hairstyles, this time truly leaving only the faces as a source of information about sexual orientation. And even with these more stringent controls, the participants were able to identify the gay faces at levels greater than chance—again even on those trials where the faces were flickered on the screen for a mere 50 milliseconds.

Furthermore, in an even more rigorously controlled series of experiments published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Rule and his colleagues replicated their discovery that people are able to accurately guess male sexual orientation. This time, the researchers demonstrated that perceivers were able to do this even when they were shown only individual features of the target's face. For example, when shown only the eye region "without brows and cropped to the outer canthi so that not even "crow's-feet" were visible" , perceivers were amazingly still able to accurately identify a man as being gay.

The same happened when shown the mouth region alone. Curiously, most of the participants underestimated their ability to identify gay faces from these features alone.

Famous Women Who Unknowingly Dated Gay Men

There are gay men who get nauseous thinking about a woman sexually—Aaron isn't one of them. He also grew a beard and refused to shave it. Only later did I find out he had developed a fetish for hairy men.

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The weird thing is, Aaron is a very masculine guy with a deep voice. He plays soccer, wears loose clothing, doesn't use loads of hair gel, and never reeks of Axe body spray. There were also no conventional signs of infidelity: In fact, we spoke before he left the office every day. On his way home, he'd stop at some random guy's house whom he'd met online, unzip, get a blow job, then pick up milk before he came home, always at the same time.

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Gay sex is easier to hide. Whereas an affair with a woman might get messy—she could get emotionally attached and call his home—sex with a guy is simple. There's no postcoital chatting. Gay men get right to the point.

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When Aaron began dating men, he said he actually stopped seeing someone because the guy couldn't get it up. He said, "With gay men, sex is the easiest part. If you can't get that right, there's a problem.


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To cope, I blabbed to everyone that Aaron was gay. I actually wasn't humiliated because everyone else was shocked, too. If other people were fooled, I guess I could forgive myself for being fooled as well. But my parents were in denial. My mom said he'd "come to his senses" and "regret it.

His mother cried, "Not another one! The fact that I had wasted my fertile years with a gay man didn't bother me too much because having kids wasn't really a priority for me.