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Read latest edition. UK Edition. US Edition. Log in using your social network account. When I started work on this issue, I expected to be dealing with a subject of intense interest to our gay readers but of little relevance outside our community. What I discovered was the opposite. And the conclusions have left me with an increased respect for women. Because yes, being gay can be tough. Just how difficult must it be to actually be a woman, and to go through life every day being made to feel inferior? Topics Gender Opinion. Reuse this content. You'll have to do a lot of filtering, and that's just inefficient if you can search in greener pastures, so to speak.
Having said that, I've known people who met their significant others at the club with varying results. Gay clubs are one of the few places you can go where you know that a guy is unlikely to get testy if you hit on him even if he is straight. However, there are other, more high-quality places to look, especially if you're not the kind of person who is interested in partying until 3 AM.
Don't force yourself to look for dates at the club just because you think that's your only option. Another common issue that I see in this community is the tendency to shame a person for their relative femininity or masculinity. I've seen femme gay guys trying to act more "butch" in order to attract guys who only want to date masculine men, and I've seen a lot of guys shaming more feminine gay men and implying that they are "acting" feminine as if it doesn't come naturally.
On the flip side, I've also seen masculine guys being shamed lightly and assumed to be "faking it" as if gay guys are inherently feminine or something, and coming off as straight or masculine is automatically phony. Needless to say, this is all BS. There is nothing wrong with being masculine or feminine, whatever your orientation may be. Still, these shenanigans often tempt people into putting up a front in order to conform.
How to Find a Boyfriend When You Are Gay: 5 Useful Tips for Getting With a Decent Guy | PairedLife
Resist the urge to conform! You have something to offer the world as your unique self, and no one can ever see that if you hide it. This doesn't just come down to acting "masc" when you're not, for instance, it even comes down to the little things. If you have weird tastes and hobbies, be upfront about it. If you have unpopular opinions, put it out in the open. Believe it or not, there are plenty of gay-friendly churches or even just plain gay churches. Your local Unitarian Universalist church is a good bet, and they cover basically every and any religion. The point here is that you'll be searching through a pool of people who are a bit more in tune with their higher selves.
You'll usually have access to guys with a stronger sense of purpose and responsibility than you'll find at a bar, for instance. However, straight or gay, dating apps trend towards the superficial. You might find a diamond in the rough, but most guys on there are going to be mostly interested in what you're packing and whether you have hard abs--and the rest of you will merely be a nice bonus.
Whether your abs can cut glass or not, if you're looking for something long-term, you may want to skip the superficialities and look for a boyfriend in person only, perhaps through your in-person social network. Looking for a boyfriend who is caring, compassionate, responsible, and willing to do what he can for the community? Be that person yourself!
Volunteer at your local LGBT center, or offer to help during a Pride event, and you'll meet all kinds of interesting people. Maybe one of them might even catch your eye. If you're gay and sick of playing games, then it might be time to start looking for a boyfriend in the right places.