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Some people have health conditions that keep them from enjoying anal sex — others simply don't enjoy it. I'm not a big fan of oral sex, and could happily cut it from my repertoire without much concern. Some guys feel the same about anal. Thankfully there is massage, rubbing, mutual masturbation, rimming, licking, fingering, and literally endless non-penetrative kinky sex acts you can do. Sex is a miles-long buffet table — why choose only one thing? A majority of my experiences with trans men have been dominant-submissive with me as the sub.

In none of these encounters did a penis go in my butt — and they were all fun. Some trans men don't want you to play with their vaginas, others do. Everyone has certain kinds of touch they like and certain kinds they don't. You're always allowed to ask what feels good — and you should communicate what feels good to you, too. If you meet a sexy trans guy in a bathhouse or sex club, you don't have to have a long, sit-down discussion of preferred words, permissible sex acts, and so on. Like everyone else, many trans guys just want to get laid, not have a lengthy conversation beforehand.

Keep it casual — play and be willing to change course if something doesn't feel right. I know many dominant trans men and have played with some of them. Suggesting a man with a vagina wants to be dominated is like assuming every cis gay muscle guy wants to top. If those are your assumptions, good luck. Fetishizing trans men is problematic for the same reason that fetishizing black men and HIV-positive men are problematic.

All three fetishes can lead to harmful stereotypes and misconceptions, and all three can actually reinforce stigma and prejudice. Guys who fetishize black men generally proliferate the negative, racist image of men of color as 'sexual beasts' ready to dominate white men with their massive penises — a dangerous idea that goes back to colonialism and claims made by racist pseudoscientists that black men are more attuned to baser, animalistic impulses like sex because they are less intelligent, less human than white people.

People who fetishize HIV-positive folks think we're all infectious sex maniacs eagerly spreading our "toxic" seed to anyone unfortunate enough to have sex with us — a concept that contributes to the demonization and criminalization of HIV and adds to HIV stigma. And people who fetishize trans men tend to fetishize a false, trans-negative image — the subservient man with a pussy, eager to bottom for a dominant alpha-top.

This idea reduces transness to a surgery and contributes to anti-trans hate. You don't get a medal. Trans men aren't a box to check off your fantasy list of wild sexual experiences. It's OK to have sex goals, but as the last point illustrated, fetishizing transness — like fetishizing blackness and fetishizing folks with HIV — is harmful and dangerous. Trans men are men. If you meet a man who you think is really cute, and he's interested in you back, you may have a great sex night ahead of you. When he tells you he's trans, say OK, ask for terms, and have fun.

All Rights Reserved. Alex Cheves Before I went to college, I was closeted.

Past lives are past lives. You don't return to them. Don't medicalize trans identity.

It's not all about surgeries and body parts. Everyone has different words for their body parts. Ask what his are. There are so many different queer experiences, but some are universal. Don't know how to break the ice?

Ask what he's into. Get comfortable with 'they' and 'them' before you ask for pronouns. Don't assume. Flirting is a universal language. Getting hung up on preconceived ideas of sex will close you off to new experiences. Sex is so much more than penetration. Don't be afraid to ask what kinds of touch are wanted. It's funny. This is the same reasoning they have when they plan their husbands weekend full without even considering he wants to enjoy his own weekend..

You're completely comfortable being alone?

Really sugar tush? Is that why overwhelming majority of monks, ascetics, sadhus etc. Truth is, men don't need women but women need men. The only things that women provide are sex and children. Beyond that women rarely have any value to men or bring anything to the table. That is why you see women making all those 'where all good men gone' posts and not the other way around.

I'm a high paid professional in my early 30's. The desperation single moms show around me is disturbing. Actually she's right. I'm comfortable being alone and I salute anyone else who's also comfortable being alone, male or female. Well of course a "feminist" will spin a very short reproductive window, and the appeal of being fuckable and fertile, into men hating on them. Yes - 16 - 28 is about as good as it gets for breeding Fact of life, spiced up with men getting a good laugh at all the selfish whores who rode the cock carousel and did nothing worthwhile with their fertility while they had it.

And for women once your fertility goes and your a selfish cunt, then being alone is a self imposed death sentence.

Initially, there are men that may fear being alone. And wonder to themselves why they didn't head there sooner. Women always say that when they are young and hot. Even if she does get married, it will never be the man she wants, but the man she can get.

Hahahah yeah keep on dreaming dumb ass bitch. Women fear being alone a lot more then men, look at the desperate single fat cunt moms who tried online dating for so long and fail, in the end they settle for a miserable life with the beta cuck that is gonna do all her biding. This lady is living on another planet.

You can't stay in watching Netflix and drinking one one night a month and use that as your barometer with respect to tolerance of being alone. Try being alone in the way many men are- for lengthy periods of time then get back to us. Hahah, comfortable being alone yet has 16, followers with open DMs. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

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Post a comment! Create an account. No free time, no me time. Its women who generally fear being alone.

Enjoying the silence. Your best friend will drop you in a second for mediocre vag. Seems like most men are no better than women when it comes to the concept of loyalty. Wrote this in a verse once, basically about the same thing: I prefer league of legends. Prefer my room and video games. Really interesting as my dream is to travel abroad.