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Member login. EliteSingles logo Catholic Dating. Please select your gender and search gender. Please use a valid email address. Please accept the terms below. My data is collected pursuant to the Privacy Policy. Get started. New Members Per Month. He paused, before mentioning one very special friend. Though open, the closet means that many priests have held the most painful stories among themselves for decades: The seminarian who died by suicide, and the matches from a gay bar found afterward in his room.

The priest friends who died of AIDS. The feeling of coming home to an empty rectory every night. So they find ways to encourage one other. Some have signed petitions against church-sponsored conversion therapy programs, or have met on private retreats, after figuring out how to conceal them on their church calendars.

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Just over a year ago, after meeting with a group of gay priests, Father Greiten decided it was time to end his silence. At Sunday Mass, during Advent, he told his suburban parish he was gay, and celibate. They leapt to their feet in applause.


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His story went viral. A year-old priest called him to say he had lived his entire life in the closet and longed for the future to be different. A woman wrote from Mississippi, asking him to move south to be her priest. To some church leaders, that outpouring of support may have been even more threatening than his sexuality. Father Greiten had committed the cardinal sin: He opened the door to debate. His archbishop, Jerome E. Listecki of Milwaukee, issued a statement saying that he wished Father Greiten had not gone public.

The idea that gay priests are responsible for child sexual abuse remains a persistent belief, especially in many conservative Catholic circles. For years, church leaders have been deeply confused about the relationship between gay men and sexual abuse. Study after study shows that homosexuality is not a predictor of child molestation.

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The John Jay research, which church leaders commissioned, found that same-sex experience did not make priests more likely to abuse minors, and that four out of five people who said they were victims were male. The notion that a certain sexual identity leads to abusive behavior has demoralized gay priests for decades. Days after one man retired, he still could not shake what his archbishop in the s told all the new priests headed to their first parish assignments.

He meant a predator, like serial predator. This perception persists today at prominent Catholic seminaries. At the largest in the United States, Mundelein Seminary in Illinois, few ever talk about sexual identity, said one gay student, who is afraid to ever come out. Since last summer, when Mr.

Catholic Priest Leaves Church, Marries Parishioner

McCarrick was exposed for abusing young men, students have been drilled in rules about celibacy and the evils of masturbation and pornography. Priests across the country are wondering if their sacrifice is worth the personal cost. Am I going to hide? Become hardened, and old?

Blaming sexual abuse on gay men is almost sure to be a major topic this week at the Vatican, at a much-anticipated four-day summit on sexual abuse.


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  7. The event has worried gay priests. A few years after the scandal, the Vatican banned gay men from seminaries and ordination. A group of gay priests in the Netherlands recently took the unusually bold step of writing to Pope Francis, urging him to allow gay, celibate men to be ordained.


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    He wished he could talk to Pope Francis himself. We have to stand up and say no more sexual abuse, no more sexual traumatizing, no more sexual wounding. We have to get it right when it comes to sexuality.

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    For now, Father Greiten was getting ready for his 15th trip to Honduras with doctors and medical supplies. A shadow box hung on the wall behind him. It displayed a scrap of purple knitting, needle still stuck in the top. It includes the claim that about 80 percent of the male Roman Catholic clergy who work at the Vatican, around the pope, are gay. It contends that the more showily homophobic a Vatican official is, the more likely he belongs to that crowd, and that the higher up the chain of command you go, the more gays you find.

    And not all of them are celibate. Not by a long shot. Hooray for the exposure of hypocrisy in high places and the affirmation that some of our tormentors have tortured motives.

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    Thank heaven for the challenge to their moral authority. Let the sun in. Let the truth out. Although Martel himself is openly gay, he sensationalizes gayness by devoting his inquiry to Catholic officials who have had sex with men, not ones who have had sex with women. Thomas Reese, a columnist for The National Catholic Reporter who visits the Vatican frequently and has written several highly regarded books about the Roman Catholic hierarchy. It depicts different sexual subcultures, including clandestine meetings between Vatican officials and young heterosexual Muslim men in Rome who work as prostitutes.

    According to the book, he prowled the ranks of seminarians and young priests for men to seduce and routinely hired male prostitutes, sometimes beating them up after sex. Part of my concern about the book is the timing of its release, which coincides precisely with an unprecedented meeting at the Vatican about sexual abuse in the church. For the first time, the pope has summoned the presidents of every Catholic bishops conference around the world to discuss this topic alone.

    James Martin, a best-selling Jesuit author, in a recent tweet. As David Clohessy, a longtime advocate for survivors of sexual abuse by priests , said to me on the phone a few days ago: What they may take away is this: Catholic priests are twisted characters. And gay men are creatures of stealth and agents of deception who band together in eccentric societies with odd rituals.

    I asked Martel what his aim was. My concern is not that the church will be better or worse. I asked him if he worried about homophobes weaponizing the book.

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    The cardinals most accepting of gays, he said, are those who are probably straight. All else aside, the book speaks to the enormous and seemingly growing tension between a church that frequently vilifies and marginalizes gay men and a priesthood dense with them.

    It explains why so many gay men entered the priesthood, especially decades ago: Their sense of being outsiders gave them a more spiritual bent and greater desire to help others in need. They were trying, psychologically and emotionally, to survive. Some of the most senior clerics in the Roman Catholic church who have vociferously attacked homosexuality are themselves gay, according to a book to be published next week.

    Eighty per cent of priests working at the Vatican are gay, although not necessarily sexually active, it is claimed in the book, In the Closet of the Vatican. It is being published in eight languages across 20 countries next Wednesday, coinciding with the opening day of a conference at the Vatican on sexual abuse, to which bishops from all over the world have been summoned. Martel, a former adviser to the French government, conducted 1, interviews while researching the book, including with 41 cardinals, 52 bishops and monsignors, 45 papal ambassadors or diplomatic officials, 11 Swiss guards and more than priests and seminarians, according to a report on the Catholic website the Tablet.

    The author found that some gay priests accepted their sexuality and a few maintained discreet relationships, but others sought high-risk casual encounters. Some were in denial about their sexuality. Francis has riled his conservative critics in the Vatican over his apparently softer tone towards gay people. Last year Juan Carlos Cruz, a Chilean survivor of sexual abuse, said Francis told him in a private meeting: The pope loves you like this. You have to be happy with who you are.

    The year was , and he was Archbishop of the diocese of New York.