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Straight Guys Vs. Gay Guys: Awkward Moments

Although he had sex with girls in high school, an extremely close friendship with a neighborhood boy, combined with homophobic taunts from his sports coaches, only strengthened his belief that he was gay. Then, while he was in his second relationship with a guy—during which he would have to fantasize about women in order to have an orgasm—Bob realized his decision had been premature.

While these men all think the switch from gay to straight was a definitive experience, some experts are skeptical that such a turnaround happens in any but the rarest cases. Nevertheless, instead of trying to run from their pasts, these men feel extremely grateful for having gone through what they did—and some even believe it makes them all the straighter. The Love Story , a two-person play that they perform to sold-out crowds in Los Angeles.

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Not all men who visit a gay bathhouse are considered gay. Bathhouses offering similar services for women are rare, but some men's bathhouses occasionally have a " lesbian " or "women only" night. Most have a steam room or wet sauna , dry sauna, showers, lockers, and small private rooms. Many bathhouses are, for legal reasons, "membership only", though membership is generally open to any adult who seeks it, usually after paying a small fee. Unlike brothels , customers pay only for the use of the facilities. Sexual activity, if it occurs, is not provided by staff of the establishment but is between customers, and no money is exchanged.

Many gay bathhouses, for legal reasons, explicitly prohibit or discourage prostitution and ban known prostitutes. Records of men meeting for sex with other men in bathhouses date back to the 15th century.

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A tradition of public baths dates back to the 6th century BC, and there are many ancient records of homosexual activity in Greece. Men began frequenting cruising areas such as bathhouses, public parks, alleys, train and bus stations, adult theaters, public lavatories cottages or tearooms , and gym changing rooms where they could meet other men for sex.

Some bathhouse owners tried to prevent sex among patrons while others, mindful of profits or prepared to risk prosecution, overlooked discreet homosexual activity. In New York City , the Everard nicknamed the Everhard [10] was converted from a church to a bathhouse in and was patronized by gay men before the s and by the s had a reputation as the "classiest, safest, and best known of the baths". The Everard closed in American precisionist painter Charles Demuth used the Lafayette Baths as his favourite haunt.

His homoerotic self-portrait set in a Turkish bath is likely to have been inspired by it. His biography states: When a friend with "little experience but great desire" confided his homosexual longings to Charles Griffes in , Griffes took him to the Lafayette so that he could meet other gay men and explore his sexual interests in a supportive environment: The baths also encouraged more advanced forms of sexual experimentation. Griffes himself had had his first encounter with a man interested in sadomasochism at the Lafayette two years earlier he found the man "interesting" but the experience unappealing , and several men interviewed in the mids referred to experimenting in the baths and learning of new pleasures.

In London , the Savoy Turkish Baths at 92 Jermyn Street became a favourite spot opening in and remaining open until September Langguth wrote: In the s the Bermondsey Turkish Baths were rated by Kenneth Williams as "quite fabulous" in his diaries.

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Steambaths in the s: The steambaths that had been well known to me were those of East Ham, Greenwich and Bermondsey. In the first two it was frequently possible to indulge in what the Spartacus Guide coyly describes as 'action', but behaviour at all times had to be reasonably cautious. In the Grange Road baths in Bermondsey, however, all restraint could immediately be discarded with the small towels provided to cover your nakedness.

In the s exclusively gay bathhouses began to open in the United States.

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Though subject to vice raids , these bathhouses were "oases of homosexual camaraderie" [5] and were, as they remain today, "places where it was safe to be gay", [5] whether or not patrons themselves identified as homosexual. The gay baths offered a much safer alternative to sex in other public places. These bathhouses served as informal gay meeting places, places where friends could meet and relax. Gay bathhouses frequently threw parties for Pride Day and were usually open, and busy, on public holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas , when some gay men, particularly those who had been rejected by their families due to their sexual orientation , had nowhere else to go.

Another service offered by the baths was voter registration. In the run-up to the election , the New St. Mark's Baths in New York City, with the assistance of the League of Women Voters , conducted a voter registration drive on its premises. In Australia, the first gay steam bath was opened in Sydney in Gay saunas , as they are more commonly known in Australia and New Zealand, were present in most large cities in those countries by the late s.

As homosexuality was decriminalised in New Zealand and most Australian states during the s and s, there was no criminal conduct occurring on the premises of such "sex on site venues". Also, police attitudes meant that they were more willing to turn a blind eye because they preferred such activity to take place in a contained environment rather than outdoors even though users were still committing the homosexual sexual offence of gross indecency , until gross indecency was wiped from the statute books following the Sexual Offences Act Gay bathhouses today continue to fill a similar function as they did historically.

The community aspect has lessened in some territories, particularly those where gay men increasingly tend to come out.

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Some men still use bathhouses as a convenient, safe place to meet other men for sex. Many bathhouses are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. There is typically a single customer entrance and exit. After paying at the main entrance, the customer is buzzed through the main door.


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This system allows establishments to screen potential troublemakers; many bathhouses refuse entry to those who are visibly intoxicated , as well as known prostitutes. In some areas, particularly where homosexuality is illegal, considered immoral, or viewed with hostility, this is a necessary safety precaution.